Finding my way back

Got to admit… I have never been the ‘Dear Diary’ kind of girl, so documenting my journey this way will be every bit of a challenge.
A challenge I am finally ready to embark on.

So why a blog you ask?

Truthfully…I woke up one morning and realised my life was revolving around my career and not my career revolving around my life.
All this time, I thought I had been making a conscious effort, never to allow my life be fully governed by my career, but rather make my career a part of my life.

Well, little did I know, life had happened and it happened very quickly to me lol.
Don’t get me wrong, I truly love what I do. Being a medic is what I believe I have been called to be. My purpose.

Here I am, finally content with my chosen career path, walking and living in my purpose. However, an equally important side to me was missing in this equation of contentment.

As I stared at my reflection in the mirror one random morning, I realised that not only has time flown by, but it was difficult to see me outside of the “Dr” title. I had almost become one dimensional or so it seemed.
I had spent many years cultivating and carving out my professional life, but had left no room for the creative part of me that I once loved to nurture, to equally flourish. `

The fun loving, art loving, music loving, creative had slowly faded into obscurity, making room for the professional, responsible me

That bless-ed “work- life balance” we all hear about or speak of, suddenly felt non existent. It had become alien to me. That morning, the scales of denial had finally fallen out of my eyes and reality hit me….I was just existing and not living.

I chose the latter and this is my journey

This evoked flashbacks of a poignant conversation I once had at the start of my career, with a seasoned consultant, who had kindly pulled a few of us, curious eyed new junior doctors on the ward aside and asked us what we had planned for that summer, which was fast approaching.

Unanimously, the group broke out in a near chorus about the amazing plans we each had for our individual career progression, summer exams, courses etc. No mention of summer holidays or activities far removed from our work life.
He look horrified for a split second but the words he uttered shortly afterwards, made me understand his reaction to our responses.

He stopped the conversation and said this to us, in a very frank yet fatherly tone

“Listen, enjoy life. You have a lot of time on your hands. On your death bed, you are not going to wish you could do one more ward round. You will wish you could live more. So live!”

His words resonated so strongly then, that i made a vow to myself, that I would live and always remember to maintain that balance in my life.
Little did I know his words would resonate even stronger years later, realising I hadn’t kept my vow to be kind to me.

So…… I had two options. I could choose to dwell in self pity and stay existing or be kind to me and start living.
Living intentionally. Finding my creative space again and regain that balance.

I chose the latter and this is my journey.

Join me as I continue this pursuit of my healthy work- life balance!

Sincerely,

Jess 💕